I had settled down to write this Diary after breakfast when I was disturbed by the sound of mortar fire. A minute later, Heath bursts in: “Sorry about the noise. I thought I saw something moving in that covert of yours and thought it might be a badger. Best not to take any risks. I’ll give it another biffing when the smoke has cleared a bit.”
“Why don’t we have an early stiffener at the Bonkers’ Arms?” I suggest hurriedly. “Meadowcroft can call the fire brigade.” As I lead him down the drive I add: “They’ve got a guest bitter from your neck of the woods. It’s called Badg… On second thoughts, let’s stick to the Smithson & Greaves Northern Bitter.”
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.